


chained in guilt

by sadinsomniac



Series: a fallen god [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dadza, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Other, Prison, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Reflection, not beta readdd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28613166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadinsomniac/pseuds/sadinsomniac
Summary: Sam reflects on the past and the previous, trying to deal with his guilt, Phil gives him some advice.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sam | Awesamdude, Sam | Awesamdude & Phil Watson
Series: a fallen god [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091105
Comments: 8
Kudos: 501





	chained in guilt

**Author's Note:**

> i’ve had so much positive reception on my work so thank u everyone :)
> 
> i don’t really like how this is written and i haven’t watched sams streams so i wasn’t exactly sure of his personality but people said they wanted his POV so i tried, please enjoy :)
> 
> TW; mentions of injury, torture, malnourishment (all very vague)

Sam was no stranger to disappearing on the server, enjoying exploring the greater SMP as well as seeing what other servers had to offer and could you blame him? The server where he would once laugh and fish with Callahan or build with Sapnap was now a constant war zone, blood being seeped into the very core of the world. And so rightfully he’d left. Finding unique uninhabited biomes, buzzing with life and brimming with the tastes of freedom, finally allowing the redstoner to relax, no longer having to stay constantly hyper vigilant due to the fear of being shot or being forced to pick sides between those he cared about. It allowed him a pure unfiltered euphoria.

But all good must come to an end.

After all, leaving for six months whilst someone had been commissioning work for him was slightly unprofessional, but he hadn’t worried. Afterall it was Dream, the feared God of the server who Sam had witnessed fall out of trees too many times to count. They’d always been close, being one of the first on the server, Sam relished the memories of Dream, Sapnap, George, Alyssa, Callahan, Ponk and himself building the community house, the constant laughter and banter being passed between them. The admin had always been nothing of protective of the original group and whilst he was flawed, Sam understood that Dream atleast thought he was doing right, that within he wanted nothing more than to help others.

Maybe that’s why is hurt so much when he found out what the rest of the server had done.

Returning from his six month travels, Sam had sought out Punz, the two remaining close whilst the server hunted down Dream, a friendly pact made to protect each other no matter what. The well worn warrior had greeted him openly, smiling and the two had bantered until being forced to address the issue. Apparently shortly after Sams department the wars had ceased, Dream disappearing, leaving the others to heal and thrive, L’manburg growing strong with Tubbo as president despite the constant overwhelming threat of Technoblade.

Dreams disappearance had left Punz lost, the man simply being told that he’d left, and whilst it seemed sketchy, there was nothing he could do alone. Sure Dream had some sort of friendship with Philza and Techno but he didn’t know how far it stretched and understandably he didn’t want to risk his life on a weak alliance.

The two had theorised, afterall Dream was stubborn, there was no way he would just leave after everything he’d fought for, going as far as to commission a prison worth multiple stacks of diamonds. 

And that was the moment of clarity.

The duo had stormed L’manburg, rage in their steps only to have their suspicions confirmed, that Dream had been locked away into a literal torture chamber for months on end. Everything had blacked out after that for Sam.

He remembered Phil and Ranboo accompanying himself and Punz to the prison, the overwhelming fear which consumed his mind as the group had made their way to the vault Dream was kept. He remembered Punz gagging and throwing up when Dream was revealed, bloody and malnourished, he remembered overwhelming horror crushing his soul as they’d desperately ran to Niki and Puffy, the duo housing what was essentially Dreams corpse.

It was all his fault.

It was much later, the inky night sky endless above him as Sam sat hunched over on the stairs of Puffys house, the group having been there for hours as they worked to treat Dreams injuries, the snapping of bones echoing around his mind as he remembered Phil trying to set the admins crushed hands, the clicking of scissors as chunks of flesh were cut off Dreams mauled arms.

A soft breeze made Sam shiver, arms tightening around himself, too deep into his mind to notice the soft feathers which caressed his back, the comforting warmth they radiated making him unconsciously relax.

“You doing alright?” Sam flinched, eyes snapping to Phil beside him, letting out a dry huff at how unaware he was,

“Yeah i’m fine it’s just.... A lot ya’ know?” the older man gave him a sympathetic nod and Sam was quickly coming to understand why he was nicknamed ‘Dadza’.

“You know it’s not your fault right?”  _huh, he saw straight though my bullshit too,_ “ it was L’manburg who imprisoned him, their actions are not your fault.”

Averting his eyes Sam stared at the stars, the small balls of burning gas glistening in the sky, “I know it’s not directly but maybe I could’ve changed it... If I didn’t leave maybe I could’ve helped Dream get away, or maybe I could’ve gotten Dream out sooner, hell if I didn’t even build the stupid prison in the first place none of this would’ve happened.”

Silence rained upon the duo, Sam keeping his eyes averted to the sky, not wanted to see the sympathy no doubt brewing in Philzas eyes.

“I’m not saying you cannot feel regretful. Everyone looks back in the past and wonders how they could’ve changed the outcomes, but the past is the past and you cannot change your previous actions. All you can do is learn and grow, afterall your here now, you’re helping now and that’s what matters.”

Sam turned to gaze at Phil only to see the man also watching the stars, a sad smile gracing his features before he made eye contact, “all you can do is grow from your mistakes, that’s the beauty of life ey.”

A humourless laugh left Sams mouth as he glanced up at the sky, “yeah... I guess so.”

The winged man stood, his wings flaring as he stretched and Sam couldn’t help but stare, “get some sleep, it’s probably gonna be a long few weeks.”

_Damn right it is_ ,  Sam smiled, a soft but greatful smile, “I will, sleep well,” and he watched Phil dispear back into the neat little cottage.

Another colder breeze swept through him, accompanying it a calm determination as Phils words set in. He couldn’t spend all his time dwelling in his past mistakes, no he would work to ensure he never made them again.

Starting with Dream.

**Author's Note:**

> btw the reason this is so bad is because i literally make up this story as i write it so please understand lol


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